I came in like a lamb, but I intend to leave like a lion- Sade Bullet Proof Soul
Procrastination is a total jerk and time robber, and I seem to have perfected the art of it to a tee. I started writing this blog this morning, and told myself, even wrote it on my daily to do list, that I would edit and post it tonight. But we all know that saying you’re going to do something, and doing it is two totally different things. This evening, I allowed the procrastination bug to devour me. I decided to go to the thrift store to “look around”, and an hour late emerged with a new dress, pants, two shirts and a vase. Then I got home, and decided I needed to get some exercised, went for a walk, got back home, cleaned the kitchen as I watched two episodes of trash reality tv (don’t judge me), cut up fruit, did a load of laundry, youtubed, synched my IPhone, made tea, then painted my toes. Ridiculous. It’s now 11:22pm, I should sleep, but I couldn’t let procrastination win tonight.
A month before my 30th birthday, I made a list of 30 things (sorta) I wanted to accomplish during my 30th year on this earth. I have a thing for lists, and I figured if I wrote it down, then it will inspire me and light the imaginary fire under my butt to get moving. That list has been hanging on my refrigerator since November, and it wasn’t until last week that I even glanced at it again. Here’s the good news: out of the 27 things I listed (yes, I only listed 27 things smh, a testament to my ever present battle with incompletion and idleness), 9 of them were completed. While I was happy to see that some of the things happened without much concentrated effort or planning, many of the things left on my list are going to take some initiative on my part.
As of June 1st, I’ve been 30 for exactly 6 months. Sitting at my kitchen table, I had to be honest with myself about what I have and have not accomplished, and the reason behind that. What shook me up the most was the question that lingered in my mind “What have you done in the past 183 days to really change your life?” Swallows the tough pill. I don’t know what it is, but it seems like after the age of 25, time fast forwards at the speed of lightning. You look up from your daily groundhog day of sleep, commute, work, commute, eat and sleep, another birthday is rapidly approaching, and you’re wondering why you haven’t been on vacation yet. Or why you haven’t blogged in 6 months. I had to admit to myself that I’m lazy. And not only lazy, but scared. You would think someone who beat cancer twice wouldnt be afraid of anything, but I’m still a sucka when it comes to my dreams. I make excuses and instead of coming home and working on my ideas and dreams, I sit on my couch, watch 2 episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, eat cereal for dinner, then get ready for groundhog day to commence in the next 10 hours. Like Jay-Z said, this can’t be life.
I’m sharing all this in an effort to obtain some accountabilty. I have lists upon lists of ideas and goals, some of them dating back 8 years, that I have yet to complete. I’m the queen of partial efforts…I’ll start a book, get 2/3 thru, then won’t pick it back up for months. I still don’t know the fate of Katniss & Peta in District 13 (shout out to the Hunger Games fans). I need to finish what I start, and do something that scares the crap out of me! Even if I embarass myself in the process, I have to at least attempt it. A notebook full of dreams is useless if I don’t take the time to just try. It’s time to push myself to be a finisher because almost doesn’t count.
Do you all ever become afraid to live your dreams? Do your dreams sometimes feel too big? Share your thoughts, comment and subscribe!
The Message (MSG)
14-17 Dear friends, do you think you’ll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it?