I know some things have changed since the last I’ve seen you,
some good, some for the bad
All and all I can’t complain that’s what I’ve been through
But seeing you reminds me of the precious times we had- D’Angelo “One Mo’Gin”
I have to be honest. I haven’t written in quite some time because I just wasn’t moved to do so. I know that may not be good for readership, or for the people who actually patiently wait for me to post a new blog, but if I’m not feeling it, I just don’t force it. So here I am, sitting at my kitchen table, re-reading past posts and comments, and it hit me; I miss us. I miss sharing, I miss the exchange, I miss being honest, I miss typing, back spacing and re-typing my words as I pour out my heart digitally.
I created this blog for the sole purpose of sorting through my personal emotional rollercoaster of being diagnosed with breast cancer for the 2nd time in 2 years. It wasn’t to brag, boast or become the poster child for chicks under 40 with breast cancer. I just wanted to write through how I was feeling. After each post, I felt like a weight was lifted. Now that I really think about it, this blog started from a selfish place. It was all about me, and my feelings, and my journey. But then something beautiful happened. Other people started to open up, and be honest as well, sharing their stories of overcoming, being transparent about their struggles or simply were provided a little bit of hope and encouragement they needed to keep going. I’ve gotten so many calls, texts, or emails just saying thank you, or that I helped them in some way. That blesses my soul more than anything else.
At times, I struggle with what I should continue writing about. My treatments are completed, my hair has grown back with a vengeance, and my life has mellowed out from the initial shock of diagnosis. I really just want to be there for whoever needs me. I’m not trying to be deep, I’m just trying to be helpful. So, as it comes to me, I will write. Simple as that. No pressure or no stress in us getting reacquainted. Just know that I missed us, and I’m still here…