I’m having a private party
Ain’t nobody here but me, my angels, and my guitar singin’ baby look how far we’ve come
I’m havin’ a private party
Learning how to love me
Celebrating the woman I’ve become – India Arie “Private Party”
Sometimes life gets so busy, we don’t sit down and take the time to bask in our accomplishments. Instead, we just scurry along, keeping up with the pace of our busy schedules, and thinking to ourselves, eventually I will take a break. The weekend before last was a prime example of this. Friday the 5th was a major day; not only was it my LAST (final, absolute, as in never again in LIFE) day of a 6 week radiation, but that afternoon I went to closing on my new home, and had a show in Baltimore that evening singing background for Green Tea. On top of all that, the next morning I had to be at work on a Saturday at 8:30am to work on an overtime project, then dinner and movies with my girls that evening down in Woodbridge, VA aka the Boonies. My mind was overwhelmed with all the tasks I had to complete. I didn’t have time to sit and reflect on how far I had really come. The next week turned out to be just as busy as the last, and before I knew it, Friday had come again, and I was approaching the weekend with the same engulfing stressed feelings.
The thing that bothered me the most is that I did not feel overwhelmingly happy like I thought I would. The week before, I envisioned myself doing the running man and MC Hammer in the doctor’s office, but when the technician handed me my certificate of completion, I just smiled politely, and jetted out the door. I made a mistake, not living and being fully present in that moment (I got that from Oprah lol). Instead, I thought about the long list of tasks I had to complete for the day, the sleep I wasn’t going to get, and all the packing I had to do. It was exhausting to even think about it, and I allowed myself to fall into a stressed state of mind instead of recognizing how far I had come.
So finally, last night, after sitting in my new house all alone, just me, Lily and a million boxes, I had my moment. I had to apologize to God for not having this moment of gratitude earlier, and of course He reassured me of His love and gave me an abundance of peace that I’ve been longing for. My mind was flooded with wonderful thoughts and memories on completing this phase of my treatment, and how every step had lead up to this moment. Then we had a party, I turned on some music and finally got to break out with my 90s dance moves to celebrate!
We have alot to be thankful for and sometimes you need to make time to stop and smell the roses. Don’t delay your happiness focusing on the wrong things. It’s quite alright to give yourself an encouraging pat on the back. When’s the last time you really had your moment?
1 THESSALONIANS 5:18 NKJV
In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.